They Don’t Check Out
“Cade stop hitting your tablet,” I shouted.
“It’s not nice to hit Atticus Finch,” he laughed.
With his latest phase Cade pulls up images on electronic devices and smacks them. When he is feeling well he thinks its funny. However, it’s quite different when he’s hurting. If a migraine strikes it’s not unusual for him to find an image online and hit it hard enough to shatter the glass. As a result, I have gotten to know the electronic repairman quite well. “It’s just a phase,” I tell myself. Like his many other phases I anxiously await this one ending. It’s been rather expensive.
His phases have all been challenging. Sometime they made me smile but mostly they just made me crazy. There was once a time when everything started with the letter “E.” He knew the correct spelling. However, he insisted on saying it started with “E.”
“Cade, tell the lady what you would like for dinner,” I instructed him.
“Hamburger please.” He placed his order.
“Would you like fries?”
“Fries starts with E.”
“No,” the server continued. “Fries starts with F.”
Cade proceded through the entire menu of items that start with “E.” Needless to say it was the entire menu. The server played along and corrected him each time. Cade was actually quite a good speller. This was just a strange way of interacting that he enjoyed.
January 1 marks the start of a new year. With us it marks the start of a new weird. Who knows what the next phase will bring? Will there be biting DVD’s while stating “You can’t eat DVD’s. They are not food.”? Most of our DVD collection has been trashed but fortunately there are now streaming services available. Will there be a return to the chocolate era? During this time the word “chocolate” came out everytime he was excited. If I threw him a ball he would shout, “Get the chocolate ball!” There was nothing chocolate about the ball. Not the color. Not even the taste. I licked but nothing other than plastic crossed my palate.
It was a usual summer day in New Orleans. In other words it was hot and muggy. I watched the hanging moss shifting in the wind as I pondered what to do. “How about the wave pool?” I thought to myself. Although I have never visited, there was one near the office where I worked. Soon after we were en route to the wave pool. Perspiration drenched our garments as we entered the gate. There was a large crowd on such a steamy day. The only caucasians present were us. We were slathered in sunblock and experiencing one of Cade’s eclipses. An eclipse is what we call the moments when one phase overlaps the other. The chocolate phase was now crossing over the naked phase. Ridding himself of his clothing he immmediately streaked across the deck. “Go in the chocolate pool! Go in the chocolate pool!” Although awkward at first, we were soon splashing and laughing with everyone else.
Looking at the cracked glass on my phone I wonder what the next chapter holds. Will there be more toys flushed down the toilet? I am so sorry Freddie and Mary for flooding your home. Will there be more questioning everyone regarding the appliance brands they own?
“What kind of stove do you have?”
“What kind of dishwasher do you have?”
“What kind of refrigerator do you have?”
“What kind of toaster do you have?”
“What kind of cutter plugger do you have?”
By the way, a cutter plugger is what he calls an electric can opener. Then of course there’s the epic period when everything went in his ears. We discovered this after noticing a foul odor. Cade pulled on his ear lobes and screamed. With what seemed like an infection we took him to the family doctor. He was prescribed antibiotics as well as other medication for inflammation. It wasn’t long before we were back in the doctor’s office. One morning I noticed Cade biting his finger nail and placing the removed tip into his ear.
Could these nail pieces be getting lodged deep in his ear causing pain and infection? With his otoscope in hand the doctor carefully searched.
“I don’t see anything,” he announced.
He looked a second time slowly tugging at Cade’s ear. “Wait a minute.”
“Do you see a fingernail?” I asked.
“No it looks like a little plastic ball or pellet. But its really close to the ear drum.” He referred us to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. The ENT noticed the plastic ball as well as another tiny rock. He attempted to remove the objects but Cade would not keep his head still. With the items close to his ear drum and driving him nuts we had no choice but to schedule an outpatient procedure.
Cade was sedated and the doctor performed the task at hand. My wife and I anxiously sat in the waiting room of the local hospital. I heard the ticking of the clock and watched for what seemed like an eternity. Ten minutes after starting the procedure the doctor was finished. He approached and informed us that the items had been removed. He also informed us that in all his years of practicing he had never seen such an assortment in one ear. The doctor handed me a small bottle. In it was a small plastic pellet, six small rocks, four fingernails, a half inch piece of plastic from one of my wife’s hair clips and a crayon tip.
With his ears free of all debris Cade was calm and relieved. However, it wasn’t long before we were back at the hospital removing the new treasures hiding deep in his auditory canals. After this second outpatient procedure we decided to purchase our own scope. We checked his ears several times per day. If we noticed something new we were usually able to flush the item with water. This cycle went on for quite some time. He placed items in his ears and panicked when he couldn’t remove them. On occasion, we still had to visit the ear doctor to remove some items. However, Cade was no longer the little boy that wouldn’t hold his head still. He knew exactly what to expect and sat giggling while the doctor did his job.
Cade enjoys visiting my sister during his summer break. He calls her Nanna. We packed his bags with his usual belongings as well as our otoscope and syringe for flushing. Nanna is very attentive to Cade. One day she noticed Cade tugging at his ear while playing outside. With the scope in her hand she searched. “What’s that?” She thought as she continued observing.
“Cade,” she asked. “Did you put something in your ear?” Before he answered she noticed the legs moving.
“A bug!” he proudly exclaimed.
Moments later at the doctors office the bug was killed with a few drops of mineral oil. The doctor removed the bug and informed Nanna that bugs don’t typically back up. I envisioned Cade’s ear pictured on an old Roach Motel box. “Roaches check in, but they don’t check out!”
Kelly Jude Melerine
Lovely and tiring at the same time. We used to have the nose issues instead until the doc showed me a trick to get just about anything out of a nose!
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Whatever it takes for your child. Thank goodness we haven’t had any nose issues. If we do I may be reaching out to you for advice
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Hi, Kelly. Thank you for following my blog. I’ve followed you back because I find Cade very interesting because as I understand from your blog he’s roughly my age and also has Autism like me (a more severe form, but Autism nonetheless). It’s also very interesting to see a parent’s perspective of dealing with Autism. Thank you for sharing your experiences and I look forward to your blog posts to come.
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Thank you so much. I enjoyed reading your posts. Your writing gives me and many others a better understanding of the things you are dealing with. Keep it up. You are an inspiration
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Thank you that’s very reassuring 🙂 I try my best to explain what it’s like, but sometimes there are so many things going on in our heads that it’s very difficult to write about all of it! I’m thinking about writing a part 2 to my post “What is it Like to Have Asperger’s?” as there are many other things that come into it (as you probably know), not just the things that I’ve written about which many people may already have a basic understanding of.
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Thanks for following my blog 🙂 I found your take on Autism interesting. Although I’m not there yet but I can well imagine what it must’ve felt like finding things in your kiddo’s ear that needed surgery to get them out.
Following you back 🙂
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Thank you so much. I find your writing inspirational. Keep it up
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Thank you for giving us some insight into your life. I can’t begin to know what you face each day. I have a cousin who, along with his wife, are the parents of two autistic children aged 15 and 10. I have never heard one complaint from them, and could never imagine what their life at home is like. Thank you for allowing me to see some of the struggles they may be facing, but never let on. I wish you the best as you try to find the balance between helping Cade and working. May God bless you and your family!
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Thank you for the kind words. My thoughts and prayers go out to your cousin and his family. They sould like strong people. Our life at home has many struggles but at the center of it all is love.
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Hello.
Just passing through and wanted to say “thanks” for the recent follow. Indeed, your page is, uh, unique to say the least. Continued success with same.
~primoscribe~
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Thanks. Best wishes to you as well
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Reading your blogs makes me feel like home…there are so many things that Cade does that are familiar. In ways that I can’t explain it’s comforting to hear of someone elses child that asks things over and over again, or doesn’t understand (no matter how many times they have been reminded) social graces like, keeping your pants pulled up. We work with Bex daily on those things.
Morgi had a bout with sticking things up her nose for a while, and there were trips to the hospital for that….It’s pretty gross when there is a nasal infection caused by bits of carpet and cereal!
Thank you for making these posts, even when things are tough. I feel the weight of it all at times and reading posts like yours enable me to understand that I am not whining or feeling sorry for myself when things get overwhelming. It makes me nod my head in sympathy and somehow, helps to give me strength to keep, keepin’ on.
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My goodness. Carpet and cereal? Now I am glad we don’t have carpet. Lol! Thank you so much for the kind words. Sometime it’s difficult writing about the bad stuff. However, I want an honest view of what it’s like. At least what it’s like in my house. Keep up your writing. It truly is a good feeling knowing we are not alone in this autism universe.
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Thanks for visiting & following Normal is a Dryer Setting. I enjoy your writing and am already a Cade fan!
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Hi Kelly, thanks for following my blog. You are truly an inspiration, and sound like a wonderful father to Cade. He is very fortunate to have so much love in his life, and such wonderful parents.
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Thank you so much. That kid means everything to me
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Just thought I’d say hello from Scotland. Thanks for the follow and enjoyed this very much. My son is 9, hope I’m still going strong when he is 17 !
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Thank you so very much. Hello back from the USA. Best wishes to you and your family.
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I totally get it! Heaven & Hell all wrapped up un autism…or maybe in a space man’s taco. Cade sounds awesome.
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Thank you. You are awesome
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Kelly,
You “liked” and followed my blog tonight, and I just wanted to reach out and let you know how much that means to me. You are my FIRST follower. I barely just started my blog a few days ago and have yet to even post much of substance – quite frankly I’m still figuring out how to add posts to their respective menus! I truly appreciate the vote of confidence that is your “like.”
Cade sounds like an absolute sweetheart, wishing your family the very best!
Most sincerely,
Janelle
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That is so awesome! Get your feelings and words out there. We want to hear it.
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I enjoy reading your blog, and I’d like to share this post on my Facebook page, with your permission. Cade has so many endearing quirks that my followers would love to read about! Best wishes to you and your family.
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That would make my day! You are awesome. Here’s a link to my Facebook page as well. Let’s connect.
https://www.facebook.com/kelly.melerine
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Thanks for the follow on my blog. I love how the pure unconditional love for your beautiful son shines through. One of my nephew’s is autistic and I also have worked with autistic and ASD young people from the ages of 11 -22 in both an educational and faith based setting. Remember Corinthians, that love is patient and love is kind, all children are a glorious blessing. Captain America cereal though….. My husband would be jealous, the UK is obviously way behind the times! God bless
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Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. People like you make the world a better place.
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Thank you much for the follow.Cade is blessed to have a daddy who loves him like you do.The way you write about him is very enlightening
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This just brought a smile to my day. It’s the first thing I read waking up. It’s going to be a good day. Thank you so much.
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