Forgiveness

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This was the tone shortly after midnight. If you are reading out loud please put ear muffs on your little ones.

The following was from a post I made on Facebook at 1:00 a.m. this morning:

 “So this is what autism looks like after midnight. Allergies are off the chain right now. Migraines combined with sensory overload. He has been chewing the shit out of his lip. His back is bleeding from scratching so much. He’s pissed off and wants someone to know how fucked up this life is. Therefore I am running around the house to get away from him so he can calm down. He will not hit anyone other than me. He has broken glass frames throughout the house. There is glass everywhere. There is blood splashed all over the furniture, ceiling and walls. He cut his hand and when he tries to hit me the blood goes wherever it may. Not to mention he shredded the shirt I was wearing and I looked pretty damn good in that shirt. Although I feel myself losing faith when shit like this happens I refuse to give up. Nothing hurts more than knowing your child is hurting and there doesn’t seem to be a fucking thing you can do about it. Sorry about all the profanity but fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck. I’ve got him in the tub now and gave him a migraine pain pill. Soon he will be rested and in a few hours I will be at work acting like nothing ever happened. Love you guys. Just know if things are messed up and you feel like life just sucks be assured you are not alone. Let’s make the best of this thing together. After all, misery loves company.”

That was yesterday. Actually it was today. This early morning stuff gets confusing at times. Either way; today…or should I say later today is a new day. I love my son and holding back forgiveness means holding back love. Below is a post I made about an hour ago:
” Julee took Cade to the doctor for his allergies. He got a steroid shot and a prescription. He is playing with his Batman vs Superman toys and  ‘I’m lovin’ it.’ Having a child with disabilities, you quickly learn the power of forgiveness. Holding a grudge is a sign of weakness. If that’s who you are then this life will destroy you. It takes strength to deal with this on a regular basis and it takes strength to forgive. We all have our burdens to bear yet we all have the power to forgive. Thanks to everyone for your outpouring of love and compassion. You guys rock!”
To my fellow parents of children with disabilities: Stay strong. You inspire me!
Let’s connect.
Kelly Jude Melerine
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