Dreams
Seeing so many young people graduating brings back great memories.
“What are your plans for the future?”
I remember people asking this very question when I myself graduated from high school. I remember the big dreams and feeling of optimism; the feeling that anything is possible. After all, why can’t I be a rock star or astronaut? Maybe even the first rock star / astronaut. Then along came reality and shit on my dreams.
I often wonder as I stroll the city streets, “What was his dream?” I don’t recall many kids dreaming of being bankers or window washers. And I certainly don’t recall anyone dreaming of being homeless. When did the dream die? Dreams are like a fire. They require kindling.
Cade will be nineteen years old next month. What is his dream? I would give anything to find out. It’s been almost a year since we sang happy birthday and watched him blow out his candles. We had those annoying reigniting candles. Although some flames ceased, some came back stronger. Some flames weakened and some flames replaced others.
Granted I may not know Cade’s plans for the future; I do know the wishes my heart makes. It’s funny how these desires change over time. While I once dreamed that Cade would be the rock star / astronaut I never became, I now hold tightly to the hope that he will never be homeless. We’re all similar creatures. Our prayers and wishes change according to our level of desperation.
“Dear God, please let me get this promotion so I can buy that beautiful new house by the lake.”
“Dear God, please help me keep the lights on and keep food on the table.”
“Dear God, I’ve been constipated for weeks. Please let me have just one good bowel movement.”
My advice to the graduating class of 2016…Keep the dream alive. When your 6′ x 8′ cubicle becomes your 6′ x 8′ prison cell, keep the dream alive. When your recent pay cut contributes to your CEO’s recent pay raise, keep the dream alive. And when you feel like giving up on the limitless possibilities you see today, keep the dream alive. Do what must be done to pay the rent, but by all means dream on.
Although I haven’t achieved my dreams, I remain a dreamer. It’s what keeps me going. Imagine going through life without a dream or any way to share your dream.
“What’s your dream?” My feet tapped on the foot board of Cade’s bunk bed.
“Daddy,” he paused a moment. “Shrek!”
“That’s right buddy.” In my best Donkey voice, I went on, “Shrek and Donkey on another whirlwind adventure.”
“Daddy,” Cade asked. “Who’s Shrek like?”
“Shrek’s like you buddy.”
“Daddy.” again he asked. “Who’s Donkey like?”
“Donkey’s like me.”
“Yeah. Donkey’s like Daddy.”
With my head nestled in Cade’s Superman pillow, my feet continued tapping at the foot board. “What’s your dream buddy?”
The epic battle of action figures endured as I lay in bed waiting his reply. Still sitting on the floor, Cade inched back exposing ample butt crack. I watched as he lifted the joker from the crowd. “Do you know how I got these scars?”
“No,” he replied in a bad ass Batman voice. “But I know how you got these.” Within moments, the wrath of Batman sent the Joker flying across the room. Yet another hole in the sheetrock.
“Cade,” I attempted once more. “What’s your dream? What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“What do you want to be?” Speaking of himself in the third person, Cade jumped up in excitement. “You want to be Batman!”
That’s a rather lofty goal but let’s see what we can do. “Hey,” I suggested. “Maybe I can be Alfred. That way I can provide the tools you need to be Batman.”
“Yeah!” He stood proudly with his hands on his hips. “Cade will be Batman for Halloween and Daddy will be Alfred.” Content with his costume choice, he rejoined the madness on the walnut floor. “Riddle me this…riddle me that”
“Cade,” determined to get an answer I repeated my question. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Daddy.”
“Yes buddy?”
“Who’s Dora like from Dora the Explorer?”
“Ms. Leidy,” I replied.
“Daddy.”
“Yes buddy?”
“Who’s Diego like from Go, Diego, Go!?”
Knowing the answer Cade seeked I responded, “Mr. Carlos.”
My heart aches for the day that Cade can share his dreams with me. Many nights I gaze from the bedroom window, hoping to spot a shooting star. Lying still I pray. I wonder if the man upstairs can hear me. I wonder if He will grant me peace in knowing that Cade will be all right; that my buddy will always have someone looking out for him. Slowly my eyes close and I wish.
“What’s your dream?”
Kelly Jude Melerine
- Shrek, Directed by: Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson, Produced by: Jeffrey Katzenberg, Screenplay by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Joe Stillman and Roger S. H. Schulman, Distributed by: DreamWorks Pictures, 2001.
- The Dark Knight, Directed by: Christopher Nolan, Produced by: Emma Thomas, Charles Roven and Christopher Nolan, Screenplay by: Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan, Distributed by: Warner Brothers Pictures, 2008.
“Dear God, I’ve been constipated for weeks. Please let me have just one good bowel movement.” … this is my dream too.
Thank you for following me. I will do the same.
This is the first piece I’ve read of yours and I see you have autism in your tags. I am going to assume Cade is autistic. I have an almost 28 year old niece who’s autistic (May God bless her mother who is so patient and kind) so I can relate to those types of conversations. One moment she’s talking about one of her many boyfriends and the next she’s telling you about her doll while holding her tight. You have to be a strong person to handle their challenges, God bless you.
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Thank you so much. Blessings go a long way. I’ll be thinking of your niece and your family as well.
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Some days counting your blessings is harder than others and your dreams are all you have. Even the unanswered and unrealized ones.
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So true
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This is such a pretty post. Thank you!
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You are welcome. Thank you for being awesome!
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Reblogged this on coyotestudiospdx and commented:
A beautiful story that brought tears to my eyes.
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You rock!
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So beautiful, made my tear up.
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Sorry for the tears but thanks for being so cool.
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No my man you are the cool one!
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K Man, you get father of the year! I am speechless and sobbing. Thank you for sharing.
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Thanks for making me smile 🙂
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Your worth it man.
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Cade seems very happy in this post so maybe his dream is just to be happy spending time with Daddy ☺
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That’s what’s up!!!!😀😀😀
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This is such a beautifully written post. I’m crying into my Chamomile tea. I often ask The Boy what he wants to be when he grows up. The latest career is a knight, I should add, a Lego knight. He is only seven though…Great post and thank for sharing.
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The Boy sounds so cool. I just cracked up reading about the Lego Knightz
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Knight
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What a wonderful blog post!!! I look forward to seeing more!!!
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Thank you so much! You rock.
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Thank you for sharing this. Your positive reinforcement will pave the way for Caid. Good for you!
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Thank you. He is everything to me!
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Hello! I just found your blog today and this is the second post I’m reading (the first was ‘defining moments’) and I just want to thank you for sharing your experiences. At 19 I’m not much older than Cade and your blog has made me contemplate on so much and just be more grateful for what I have. I think Cade is extremely lucky to have such amazing parents and I know that although he may not be able to express it directly, he acknowledges and appreciates all that you’ve done for him. As for what he wants to be, maybe he’s just unclear and so diverts the conversation each time he’s asked!- haha, I know I’m jumping between career choices myself! I’m also a dreamer so it’s very hard to settle for one path right now. :’)
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I can not tell you how much your comment has lifted me today. Knowing that there are young people like you in the world gives me hope for our future. You are an amazing individual. Keep dreaming. I look forward to seeing where life takes you. 🙂
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Aww, thank you so much! Your reply has made my day and its great to know that my words meant something to you too! I also look forward to keeping up with your (and Cade’s) journey. 🙂
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My dream right now is to just make any money so I won’t end up homeless. Or if I do end up homeless, I plan to make it the best adventure ever!
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Cheers to making any situation the best ever!
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Loved this story.
I have 3 kids. My eldest (21) is a doer. He hatches a plan, mulls over the details, and starts on a mission to execute his plan. He’s like me! A handsome devil like his dad, but he can be a bit mean (not from me) ☺
My middle kid (19) has no plans. He’s a drifter. He’s smart, handsome, has ideas but doesn’t work towards any of them. He has a job so is enjoying the perks of having money without the responsibility of paying bills. Every answer about his future leaves me queezy. There is no plan and so no follow through. I’m ill just thinking of it…
My last is very demanding. She is also a planner and doer. I’m not worried about her as she has beauty, brains, stubbornness and thinks for herself (challenges my authority at every turn). Granted that she is only 4, some of those traits can change later on, but I certainly hope they don’t. I love her spunk !
I know that feeling you have over your boy. It’s the same feeling I get over my middle boy. All we can do is guide them and keep healthy lines of communication going in hopes they come to us when ever they need us (preferably before age 30). And of course a few extra prayers certainly won’t hurt 😁
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Family makes the world go round. No matter how much they stress us out. Thank you so much for sharing your family’s story. It made me smile. I am feel the love
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Look forward to reading more of your work. Happy weekend ☺ 🌷
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I “can” feel the love. Not I “am” feel the love. Sorry for the typo.
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Very well written. Does your son live near you?
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Thank you so much. My son lives with us. Also, my wife’s brother lives with us. He is mentally disabled as well. My brother-in-law is 45 but mentally he is 12
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I am new on your blog – your son has Autism?
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He does
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I have a friend who has aspergus and is quite mature for his age. I think aspergus is on the Autistic spectrum.
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I really appreciate your writing. It is so good to hear you pray. Keep believing. I know myself now that it is when God hears me…when I pray. You may feel like you are going through a dry spell…keep going. God is not going to let you down. I’m sure he has a plan for your lives. Expect a miracle!
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this is the first post i am reading in your blog and trust me i am in love with your way of writing . it’s such a nice post .. keep it up 🙂
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Well you just brought a big cheesy smile to my face. Thank you so much. 🙂
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Beautifully written. I love when my boys tell me their dreams. I never try to smash them with reality. My youngest with autism wants to live near the beach and own a store the sells special stuffed animals because stuffed animals are the most important thing in his life. It sounds lovely to me.
Dream on!
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Your son’s dream sounds amazing!
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Keep the dreams alive!
“Dreams are the floor plans of reality!” – Minor Mustain
Dreams also take hard work! Do the work, make the dream live in more than your thoughts!
Thanks for the follow!
Peace, Tamara
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Thanks for being cool!
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I absolutely love this. I wonder the same about my boys!
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Children give us a lot to worry about.
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A dream does does need rekindling indeed thanks for the advice
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You’re very welcome. Thanks for your comment.
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Good job sharing your parenting challenges and skills. Cade’s condition hones them to a fine edge. Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration.
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Your words have brightened an otherwise dreary day. 🙂
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